If you’ve read or seen the news lately, I’m sure you’re aware of the “Polygamy Situation” service Texas, Utah and Arizona. Last month Texas Child Protective Services raided a FLDS compound and removed more than 400 children, transferring them to shelters in order to investigate allegations of sexual abuse. The situation is horrifying and confusing for everyone involved, as well as for the general public, who are simply stunned and wonder how such a thing can occur in 21st century America.

It seems strange to us that the practice of polygamy still exists – especially today. marriage is alarming that marriages are arranged, men are married to several woman at the same time and that these women are expected to bear as many children as possible. If a marriage isn’t working out to the liking of the FLDS prophet, he can reassign the woman and her kids to another man. It is horrifying that some of these “women” are as young as 13 or 14 when they are married off to a man 3 times their age, as his 5th or 6th wife! And it is absolutely bizarre that these families firmly believe that their salvation depends upon this practice. (I’ll address that in a minute.)

Why do I bring up this situation? Because when asked the question “Are there blended families in the Bible?” people assume we are talking about polygamous families. There are enormous differences between blended families and polygamous families. Yes, they both involve several adults and children. This results in sibling rivalries and delicate spousal dynamics that are challenging to navigate. But that is where any similarity ends.

The Old Testament is full of stories about families who practiced polygamy: Jacob had 4 wives and at least 14 children; David had at least 8 wives and scores of children; and Solomon was reputed to have had 700 wives and 300 concubines – of course Solomon’s foreign policy was to marry, or sleep with, the daughters of all the other rulers of nearby countries. However, when you read these stories you will find that these families were not happy or healthy. Busy, perhaps, but not happy. And more to the point, they were not blended.

Blended families as we know them were not common during Biblical times. Marriages were very rarely based on love or choice – most of them were arranged and were for the purpose of producing children (sound familiar?). In the Hebrew culture of the OT, men had multiple wives and could divorce their wives, but not the other way around. There was a certain stigma attached to divorce, so most men didn’t bother. They just married someone else. If a divorce did occur, both parties were free to remarry, but they were under no obligation to raise another person’s children. By the time of the Greek and Roman influence (in the NT), monogamy was becoming more fashionable, and divorce could be initiated by either party, but again, there was a social stigma. We see this in the “serial monogamy” story of the woman at the well in John 4: she had 5 husbands and was living with a 6th man, but she was document by the other people in town.

As far as I know the only true blended family in the Bible was Jesus’ family. Mary was pregnant by the Holy Spirit when she was engaged to Joseph, who married her, becoming a stepfather to Jesus. Mary and Joseph later had children (James, Joseph, Simon, Judas and several daughters), meaning that Jesus grew up in a blended family. We are in good company.

Which brings me to my last point. Salvation does not depend on anything we, as humans, do. Our salvation does not hinge on getting an MBA, who we marry, whether or not we’ve been divorced, how much money we make, how many children we have or which church we attend. Our salvation depends on Jesus alone. Our salvation hinges on accepting that Jesus died on the cross as punishment for our sin, and rose again on the third day, reconciling us to God! (Romans 10:9-10; Hebrews 10:1-18)

So when you say your prayers tonight, thank God for your salvation, and for your blended family. And please pray for the FLDS women and their children in Texas.

Susan J. Hetrick is the author of Advice from the Blender: what to know before you blend so nobody gets creamed. (2007, Xulon Press) She continues to write and is a sought-after speaker on various stepfamily topics. More information on stepfamilies can be found on her website: http://www.advicefromtheblender.com