One day as lingerie abecita was leisurely reading I ran across an interesting article about human anatomy. The article stated that though there are over 6 billion people in the world there exist no two body figures alike. Every individual has a different form, shape, facial features etc. At first I thought “no way!”, and then I was like “seriously?” and then finally my expression was “Oh My God!”. Something clicked, the whistles were going off in my head. Upon realizing this I knew that we are all a UNIQUE REPRESENTATION OF GOD! Then certain scriptures became illuminated to me and I really felt that I had gotten a hold of something. My thoughts of who I am and my capabilities changed instantly and my confidence level soared through the roof. Now people often mistake my confidence as arrogance, though nothing could be further from the truth. If only people knew how Charles P. Wright struggled with self esteem growing up, they would definitely applaud and admire the turn around.
I will never forget the day I was lingerie abecita dissappointed that I was scarred for quite some time afterward. Of course it came via a species of another world…that’s right a female…lol. (sometimes they can be SO cruel). There was a girl (I dare mention her name) in the church that I grew up in that was the talk of all of the sunshine band boys and I too was in the sunshine band. lingerie by brand was the “stuff “and she knew it. She didn’t have to try hard to look attractive, she was just blessed in all the right places…lol. Her attitude made her all the more atrractive because even though she was “certified” she was very much down to earth and easy to get along with. So one day I drummed up the courage to ask her to be my girlfriend; her response: “she would think about it”. “Oohh” the days spent waiting on her to make a decision was like a roller coaster ride on steroids. I fell victim to the infamous “she loves me, loves me not” litmus test, (even though I would often times cheat the system). I prayed, I might have even fasted hoping that God would honor my desparation…lol, all the while convincing myself that there was no logical reason for her to say no. No, seriously there was nothing more in the world that I wanted than for this girl to be my girlfriend. Wednesday night was bible study and that was when she was going to give me her answer. Arriving at church I was so pumped up because I was going to be the envy of all the boys in the sunshine band. When I arrived she was pulling up almost simultaneously and to no avail I tried to catch her facial expression to determine the verdict. When we got inside, just before entering the sanctuary she mouth the words that many sunshine band boys across the world are so familiar with: “I can’t be your girlfriend because you are more like a brother to me”. Immediately I wanted to say “Well let’s play house, you be the mommy and I be the daddy”..lol. That was the first time my confidence was bruised, but that only preceded something far more traumatizing.
It was time for my favorite subject as a fifth grader, that’s right Physical Education, but unfortunately this particular day it was raining so we had indoor P.E. The events that transpired this day will definitely go down in the Charles Wright’s “Hall of Shame”. The p.e. teacher had everyone to sit across from each other indian style in the open room while she called the roll.We were seated according to our last names and I just so happened to be sitting across from my girlfriend, (let’s just call her “Nikky”). Unlike my “church sister” she said yes to my request and she wasn’t by far a girl who was looked over. She was strategically blessed in the right places as well. I was definitely feeling good about myself, but then it happened, the humiliation of Charles P. Wright. I started to notice different ones across from me chuckling and pointing. I begin to look around to see what was so funny, but nobody behind me laughing or had a clue either to what was so hilarious. I begin to look in the direction of what they were pointing at and lo and behold it was me. I had the biggest hole in my jogging pants that not only showed my underwear, but revealed the holes in them as well. Everybody across from me thought that was so funny to the point that they were about to be reprimanded for causing so much comotion. Nikky gave me a look as if to say “if you think you are going to be my boyfriend after this you got to be crazy.” These events, amongst others, attributed to a thought process that was very detrimental to my self-confidence. I begin to think that for some reason I was born insufficient. Every time I compared myself to others it seemed that I was always getting the worse end of the stick. I never went out with the prettiest girl, I never had the name-brand clothes I’d seen other fortunate kids wear, I never was the life of the party. So, I adopted a mentality of inferiority. I believed that I was made inferior to others and I should just accept it. Boy was I grossly mistaken.
There has always been a yearning on the inside of me to know more of God. I can remember walking through the woods praying, wanting God to respond to me audibly (I’m still waiting for that day) Even though He has never responded to me audibly he has definitely given me insight and encouragement via His word. The scripture that really got me to thinking about who I am was Jeremiah 1:5 when God tells Jeremiah He knew him before he was formed in his mother’s womb. As I pondered this I remembered a scripture that states: God is no respecter of persons. So if God knew Jeremiah before he was physically concieved, then He knew me as well. So then if God knew me as well before I was born He knew every intricate detail of my personality, capabilities, tendicies, ideals..etc. So then if God knew every detail of me before did He make a mistake by allowing me to be concieve? Of course not. King David of the old testament affirms that he was fearfully and wonderfully made. I had to realize and accept just as Jeremiah, just as David, and just as Jesus Himself, there is nobody else on this planet that can represent the portion of God I was created to represent. Only I can Charles P. Wright like none other. It’s so sad that we have individuals today emulating different celebrities and people of entertainment because they are robbing the world of a portion of God only they have to offer.
This revelation not only changed the way I look at myself, but how I look at others as well. Understanding the importance of individuality and how it’s a part of the fabric of the makeup of God. I now pursue to be the best Charles Porter Wright that I can be. It makes no difference how I compare to others because comparing and contrasting ourselves with each other is, plainly put, the height of stupidity. If we understand that we are all an extension of God we would never boast in ourselves or in our respected abilities, because we realize that it all comes from our father above. I hope and pray that we all recognize the royalty within and let our distinctive personality shine like the morning star.
Until next time… Please be yourself because you are the only physical representation of God we can see until we all transcend.
I’m a 26yr old Atlanta native who has learned how to put in action the law of reaping and sowing. I couldn’t think of a better domain name than that of http://www.reapwithme.com Because there’s nothing more that I want to do than to help others live the life they were destined to live. The scripture states: The devil comes to steal, kill and destroy, but I have come that you might have life and life more abundantly. Go to http://www.reapwithme.com and begin living the abundant life you were created to live.
